Hello, don’t consider this a real update. Maybe more of a
side thing. This is something that happened to me today.
Today a teacher of mine told me that I look like a vagrant.
Lets look at what a vagrant is.
Vagrant- one who has no established home and wanders idly
from place to place without lawful or visiable support. One
whose conduct shows vagrancy. WANDERER, ROVER.
She didn’t mean it, I know. But I take it as a compliment.
I think of myself as a wanderer of sorts. Someone that
tries not to be chained down by things of the outside
world. (Emotions and people are another story. Wanderers
always have some kind of regret or something so it fits)
Someone that can force there own path. I truely am from
another world. I like anime, RPGs, date sims, music from
other countries, all kinds of music that range from techno
to rock. And somehow, even though I am as strange as I am.
I have people that care about me and stay with me. I also
have a sweet girlfriend. I may not show it to them, but I
care about them. Maybe even Andrew… I understand that I
act so much like a stranger to most that I know. I only
really open up to the people I know. To earn my trust is
such a great thing because I don’t give it out much. I
guess maybe thats why I don’t like Andrew much. I never
really knew him so its not like I mind much. Being a
wanderer has its benefits and its downfalls. I feel so
alone sometimes, but in 10th grade it didn’t feel much like
that. Maybe things will be different this year again. I
want to show more of myself. I hope everything works out
for all of us.
I saw Catherine at my church festival. I was going to go up
to her to talk, but then I saw him, Andrew sitting aside
from her. I suddenly felt that same pang of pain from a
year or two ago around this time. I turned back and left
the building to go outside on the churchgrounds. I walked
down and did what I did before…draw. Not once did they
come to talk to me or did I go to them. Maybe it was an
unsaid message that was told between us, or maybe they were
just busy. Whatever the case…I didn’t want to see them.
Its strange I have a girlfriend and yet these things come
up again and again for me. People say music can bring back
memories/feelings from long ago even much after the person
has forgotten them. I believe, in my case, that certain
events, and people can bring back past emotions…hehe, who
am I kidding its prolly just in my blood. It’s even easier
to say, its just how I am. This song that I’m putting is a
tribute. A tribute to my past loves. My past feelings, and
my feelings for my girlfriend, Cathy.
LOVE A RIDDLE
By I’ve (Kotoko) (Awesome band!!)
I always thought that you can become an adult only by
shedding enough tears
but I stopped as I realized the confusion of the feelings
locked up within
me
When I saw your sad lips mouthing the words “good bye”
I begged you to stay with my painfully tight embrace
Even though I laughing by your side like this
you don’t yet know that I love you
Please realize these feelings that I can’t find words for…
I stopped the flow of time and waited,
searching for you, my one and only
and now those forgotten moments are starting to flow on
once again
Even though love is full of agitation
people still live on by cuddling side by side
having met each other on this star floating in the sky…
When I end up talking to somebody it’s because I fear that
our love is
coming to an end
That’s why every moment we spend together is like a
priceless treasure
Having you all for myself shouldn’t be possible
but I still get anxious when you get too nice to others
This daily growing need to own you completely is so hard to
bear…
Because I can say that it’s special,
because lies and such are no more needed
I can now look at my surging emotions without pretending
That day I thought I had decided that if all I get is
agitation
I definately don’t want to fall in love ever again.
But nevertheless, we ended up meeting each other
We couldn’t even make a promise when we parted
and now I can’t sleep at night because I’m so lonely
Oh please tell me what your true feelings are…
I stopped the flow of time and waited,
searching for you, my one and only
and now those forgotten moments are starting to flow on
once again
Agitation definately wasn’t all that I got
Here we are, looking at the future together
It’s all because we met each other on this wide wide sky…
