No more regrets. I swear I’m going to live with no more regrets from now on. I have to do what you can in the now or my chance might just vanish from my eyes. I see that now. I have to be more honest with myself. I can’t remain silent. I have to tell people how I feel regardless of the result.

I refuse to live in fear any longer!

-Ja

Yeah, I should really be doing my homework or something, but I don’t feel like. It’s nothing that big anyway. Since I’m bored and not tired that much. I want to take the time to write certain things that I forgot to add.

First I want to start about the origins of my name. Koji Oe. Koji Oe is the name I use in most visual novels/date sims if I can fit it. I use the kanji characters for orphen. That is for the name Koji and I put Oe in english for katakana.

Anyway, Koji is the name of Bryan Algerim’s adopted son in the story I wrote. He’s a pervert and a wild guy. Oe is the last name of Kintaro Oe from Golden Boy.

That song Anata ni Aete from Tokimemo 2 expresses just how I wish my highschool life were. Yeah, life isn’t like a date sim or some visual novel or even an anime. But sometimes I wish it were. Life would be more adventurous and exciting.

I wish I could be waken up by some girl in a school uniform telling me I’ll be late for school etc etc etc. I don’t have any child hood friends that are girls. This dream isn’t going to happen. My graduation is going to suck so much. No girl is going to declare to me under some sacred tree. No legendary broken bell is going to ring blessing my love with some girl.

I’m a loser plain and simple. I’m an ass that could give a damn about most of the lesser people at my school who I don’t care about. People need to start ruling for themselves then calling some ancient god for guidance. Mankind needs to start walking with there eyes and ears open. They need to buck up and face the truth if it comes there way. It’s the only way you’re going to get stronger. Us children are so weak. We’re so blind to the world around us.

I don’t want to smile because smiling is stupid. Why fool myself and cheapen my emotions when I truely feel that way? It’s the same way with love. Why love and care for other people? It’s just cheaping the love for the people you really care about.

In the end you are just alone. Some say you need friends. I don’t think that is fact. That is just an opinion. I can fully function with people around me. I wish I could just be a vagrant and travel from town to town doing what I can to live for that day. How interesting that life would be…but watch it not last long. I’m such a lazy fool.

-Ja

How my weekend was can’t hold a candle to this new issue I face.

I was at the mall alone yesterday and some senior from my school tells me that my ex, cathy, still likes me. Now my first reaction is what? Then he tells me I should call her. So I’m like okay, but if you’re lieing I’ll kill you.

Now, I’m pretty pissed off about this. Draw your conclusions from that. I could either call her or totally forget about it. I wonder what I’ll do…