Not really an update, but more like how I’m feeling right now. I feel sad right now. I’m losing friends just because of how I am. I feel so happy for myself and others and yet it’s making people turn againest me. Now my dearest friend Erik seems to be doubting me. It saddens me deeply. But I will not give up hope in God or my beliefs. God is helping me and evil forces are testing my faith. I will not give up hope.

Ah, update. It ended well. I just wish I had started that spiritual journel because I felt a wave of different emotions and ideas.

We all change and grow. I believe I was called to change at this time for a reason.

-Ja

Well, since I want to start applying myself. That means I need more time for my work and whatever I do. Sorry guys but the xanga has got to go. Don’t expect many weekday updates now. Saturdays and/or Sundays from now on. Friday will be an update day for the weekdays and that day itself.

Till Friday.

-Ja

Asu e no Yuuki; Courage Toward Tomorrow – Magic Knights Rayearth ED

With the best smile you have
Let’s start pedaling really hard
Even if the wind wants to push you back
Don’t be discouraged

A strength that wins over sorrow
You will be told softly
By aiming for the vast ocean

Go for it! Your eyes will someday
Bask in the light and start to shine
Turn your belief to go on
Do not give up the courage toward tomorrow

Stand with your back straight
Take a deep breath
If you always look down
Nothing changes

Straight along the rail of your heart
If you walk without looking back
Your dream will always come true

Go for it! Your tears will someday shine
Brighter than glittering jewels
Turn your pursuit for dreams
Without giving up the strength toward tomorrow

A strength that wins over sorrow
You will be told softly
By aiming for the vast ocean

Go for it! Your eyes will someday
Bask in the light and start to shine
Turn your belief to go on
Do not give up the courage toward tomorrow

Ok, as I was saying I went over to Begeni and Josh. Josh is like, “What the heck were you talking about over there with Ms. Gailee? Oh, I wish I could of gotten more out of it.”

I say that I’ve gone through a spiritual awakening and on the path to be a better person. Of course I look over at Begeni and his face has the expression that says, “What the heck are you talking about?”

I pretty much left after trying to explain to them. And so in short I went through the day with a smile and being kind little by little to people. I prayed and of course I had my own little trouble at lunch, but I didn’t get angry nor upset.

Art lessons were awesome. Learning great things from it. I like my teacher he’s a cool guy. Sorry about the short second part. I got to get to my homework.

-Ja

YES! The Artist block has been broken!

I’ve been having alot of trouble lately concentrating while I draw making alot of what I draw turn out blah. I decided to give it a shot a doodle atleast for awhile. I concentrated and I was able to draw! I’m so glad I broke the block. I thought for awhile there I lost my ability to draw.

Artist block is something I bummed off Megatokyo.com. I don’t know if it’s an actually term, but Piro used it so I use it too. It’s when you feel you can’t draw. And I’ve had this artist block for about a month. It feels good to know I still have it.

-Ja

Wow, I was reading some of my old posts and they actually appear to be rather constant in terms of what I write now with then. I’m usually unconsistant with things and I’ve covered most of the stuff that I said I’d get to. I’m surprised! One thing that dissapoints me was I was pretty stupid a few months ago. Least I can see I’ve changed more or less. Also I’ve gotten pretty close with this thing. I don’t really hold back alot like I used to. And! I still have yet to make one protected post.

Oh yeah and just to throw this out there. In case you’re wondering, you probably aren’t but oh well. The thing that I put after every entry and comment I make (ja) is in no form related to my name.

My name is Bryan, and I would put my name or some alias that I like such as Koji , Maou, or Magus. I’m not fond of nicknames usually. It took awhile for me to start calling Catherine, Cat because I personally felt it was rude. I call most people by there given name.

Anyway, ja is basically like Japanese slang or something, I guess. It means seeya, or later or maybe even seeya later. I used it in a few of my posts when I first started writing here and it just sorta stuck. So basically what I’m doing is saying seeya after every post or comment. ^_^

-Ja

And so, just like when the snow melts on a sunny day. My existence at school vanished. The signs of ever being alive from that week of “persecution” seemed to have ceased . The day went on as if it were an eternity.

Grr sadly I did some how lose my ID and now that means I get 2 detentions and I have to pay 5 bucks to get a new one. I’m atleast going to bluff for now till they catch me.

I finished The Hellbound Heart. I enjoyed it. Very suspensful despite its lack of character development and its shortness. I started to read the book I have about Norse Mythology.

Tomorrow is my birthday…I’lll write another entry maybe if I feel like it later about something else.

-Ja

Well, today was a good day. Had a nice lunch with my grandmom at the Olive Garden. I got the tour of Italy like always. The lemon cream cake I got was tasty. Got some more money so I bought alot of books. Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice, The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker, a book on Norse Mythology, a magazine about medievil times, and a book about being Wiccan for teens.

I’m starting to think Wiccan just isn’t for me. Oh well, theres still a ton of religions out there. Either I don’t join one or I just incorperate alot of all there beliefs into my own life. Like reincarnation. I think that could be possible, but who knows?

I got a good number of MP3s that I like such as the Alundra ending (jpn version), the Memories Off OAV OP (Wings of Courage), and hopefully I’ll have Undo the 3 OP to Full Metal Alchemist soon.

Rainy day outside = nice weather outside. I think it stopped raining though. Meh, oh well…Anyway, tomorrow is my last day as 16. I wonder what I should do to make it memorable? Maybe I’ll just do nothing. Yeah, that’s so like me. But I think I might make some kind of special entry the day of my birthday here.

-Ja

I was just out for a nice brisk walk, and I was at the park across from Cat’s house swinging on the swings. Nothing like swinging on a swing. Anyway, I don’t understand the whole mentality behind shouting at a person from your car as you drive away.

Does that make you feel better acting like a stupid kid? This doesn’t happen to me that often but 5 times out of 10 I can hardly hear what they’re saying. Not like I want to really hear what they’re saying mind you. I don’t understand it actually. Why do people make fun of others in the first place? It’s all so ridiculous to me.

-Ja

More things that I hate. An entry will be written around 11:30-12 when I get back from cleaning the Jorden with ecology club.

22. Looking/acting ghetto.

Note- I detest this with a passion. Why would anyone want to lower themselves to looking ghetto? It’s trashy. The way they talk and write looks like it’s in another language. I’m sorry but the way you write the English language makes you look unintelligent. Please learn to use semi-decent English

23. When any anime series I really like sadly comes to an end

24. Getting up early

25. Being waken up from a good dream

26. Prom and other such nonsense which requires a ton of money on your part to go

27. Books that end not so great

28. Overrated anime series such as Evangelion and Cowboy Bebop

29. When things I buy get broken

30. Random people who come up to me and start talking when I obviously do not care about anything they’re talking about at that moment.

31. Celebrities and pop idols

-Ja