Blah blah blah

I’m not feeling well. I’m angry. I feel unmotivated. Weak. Fake. Withdrawn and alone. I don’t know why. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to do anything and nothing brings me enjoyment. Do I need to get out more? This week is the worst. It sucks and nothing has gone right at all for me. Having 56k sucks a lot because nothing goes fast at all and I can’t even do the things I need to do properly for school without waiting forever.

Probably scored low on a Japanese quiz today which could have been totally avoided and that has been more weight on my shoulders. I am such a whiny bitch because all I do is complain. This is what I get for living in a world without gods. (I don’t know what that means but I thought of it today and I think it sounds cool) I am at my weakest right now. I was wondering when the mood swings would kick in.

Right now it feels like there is a huge burden on my back as if I’ve failed life in some way. This feeling sucks. I don’t know why. I’ve taken life so seriously now. I never did before. I never really cared about tests or quizes or school in general. It just feels like I need to succeed and if I don’t try very hard I won’t get anywhere. I haven’t been trying very heard so far and it’s already been 3 weeks. No wonder I feel the way I do.

I wish I could reset this semester over. I’ve been thinking that a lot lately, but that’s just running away. I want to start moving and being active now, but then I think, “What is the point? Things have already begun.”

I don’t want to do anything. I just want to lay down and just think about nothing. I just want things to slow down. I want to scream.

Blah blah blah

Third Week – Already feels like it’s the last week

I can’t believe that it is already the third week. The semester is going too fast. I don’t know what it is to be honest, but every day is over in what only feels like a few hours.

The work looks about the same as last semester but it feels like it’s so much more. A lot of pointless reading if you ask me. Some of it seems interesting but I doubt I will retain the knowledge over the long period. I am also taking less classes that count towards my major so I feel a lack of motivation. -_-

I have yet to really adapt to a schedule of doing things and I hardly have sat down and been like, “Yes, I am going to study a bunch of my subjects for such a such amount of time.” Maybe there is no need and I’ve found a happy balance between relaxing and work.

There is a lot to do in the coming weeks and I’m hoping the to get a lot done this week because it really feels like I’m behind in things. I do get these bursts of motivation though but they’re short lived. Right now the semester feels a lot like the end of last semester. I feel sooooo tired. Is this the legendary making sacrifices to succeed and push forward that I’ve always heard smart people talk about?

No, this is hell.

Also, I miss the sun.

勉強なら大丈夫です

こうにちわみんなさん。日本語は毎日勉強します。ぶんぽうはむずかしです。たくさんありますから。漢字をしったことがあります。いつもかんじをべんきょうしって好きです。でもなにもかもができると思います。日本語を知りたいですよ。勉強や生活つよくなりたいです。いまとしょかんにいます。勉強しません。アニメをダウンロードしっています。へやでリミットがあるんです。じすわとしょかんのほうがへやよりセーフです。多分。さいきんたくさんアニメをみすぎました。でもしゅうまつだけです。たとえもう一度アニメがすきなのでいつも見ません。[ななついろ★ドロップス] のえいやくプロジェクトを始めるつもりです。すこしなら。すももちゃんがなかなか可愛いですよ。

それでは昼ご飯を食べなくちゃいけません。コメントを書いてください。

Spring Semester 08 – Off to a good start?

Well, I’ve pretty much taken my first class for all my classes this semester. They aren’t too bad but I am taking a Speech class so that will probably be a lot of work more or less. I was taking a Business Writing class but I dropped it because it was too much work and not really the most helpful class for the direction I want to go with my major. I’ve never dropped a class before in my 3 years in college so it must have been pretty bad. So I went from 16.5 credits to 13.5. I like taken as little courses as possible anyway. That way I can slack and go at my own pace a little more. I hate huge work loads and a bunch of classes with projects at once. Taking a class on fitness and wellness and easy A. I’m also taking a class on American History. Not really my bag but if I do the readings and pay attention to the lectures while taking notes I should do fairly well.

I am taking two classes pertaining to my major this semester. Japanese 110 is intense. Even more intense than last year. Susuki sensei is pretty strict and if you don’t know the answer right away when she calls on you she skips you. I’ve got to do my best! Japanese 120 is a Japanese literature class I’m also taking this semester. It is awesome. The professor is a little younger than the professors I’ve had up to this point, and she is really outgoing. Apparently the teacher is the head of the Japanese department here at Penn State and she isn’t even Japanese.

I got all my study abroad stuff worked out. I just need to get this final application out before March 1st, and I should be good to go. Time is going just too fast. I will be in Japan before I know it…

WHAT – Winter vacation event flagged?

Yar this is just a lame short personal post. I will be gone for the week since I am going with some friends to a resort thing with skiing and what have you. I seriously doubt I’ll flag any ecchi/ero scenes but perhaps my friends will…? Ah, what a waste of a winter vacation event. In any case, this should be fun, but I can never tell if I’m over packing or not packing enough in these kinds of situations. Maybe I should bring some of my Japanese stuff to study, but I doubt I’ll get any studying done. Haha.

Well, I’ll be back eventually where I’ll be back at school. I was hoping to finish Denno Coil before going too. I guess not…

Why must my fun week be ended with such stressful tragedy? Ugh… Whatever happens it will be solved quite fast this Monday, but the results could either be good or bad.

People are a little odd and hard to understand but fun to be around.

Guilds suck and pretty much do whatever they want without discussing it with you.

I still have a long way to go until I become a prominent voice in the anime blogging community and a little sad over someone not linking to my page anymore. Probably due to my content. But my blog is getting more popular at least.

Stress is lurking in the back of my mind. So, I can’t relax entirely. It’s unsettling that I still have unfinished components to this study abroad thing and it is all due very soon.

Row row fight the power