SNOW JUST GET THE FUCK OUT

Lately I’ve been feeling like my entire body is in some kind of gooey slime that is making my movements really slow. I feel really lazy but I’ve been lazy pretty much all semester… I’m also very tired no matter how much rest I seem to get.

Maybe I really work better in a warm climate? I can’t seem to have the motivation to get anything done with all this cold and I’ve been really inactive. I can just feel the pounds increasing.

I honestly can’t help complaining about this. Well, I can but I dunno… I’ve done nothing to change my situation at all. All I’ve done is complain about it. I’ve done nothing to try and make things work and make them perhaps better. I complain about the weather, my classes being boring, and what not. I sit here and whine and throw a pity party as always.

This has been perhaps the strangest few months I’ve experianced. So many weird feelings and emotions going through my head. I’ve been depressed and stressed out before but never over the fact I know I can do better than what I’m doing now, and that whatever I’m doing now isn’t right. Something is definitely wrong, but I don’t know what.

When all is said and done, I hope I will be able to grow from these weird experiences and find some kind of meaning behind it.

Made some stupid mistakes but what’s new (JPN 110)

Messed up mae ni. Apparently it’s B before A and not A before B. I hate this about Japanese. It’s just like node but not really. Node can at least be read as Because I went to the store, I couldn’t read the book. But with mae ni it cannot be read as Before I went to the store, I read the book. So that messed me up.

Messed up some mutiple choice here and there perhaps. Same with listening, probably. Put no in front of futatsu when I guess you’re not supposed to. Ah, I probably got this one right. I figured something was up. No always goes between nouns. I found a song on my Ipod called 2つの川, and Kyosuke also says something like Hitosu no deai ga futasu no koisumi in the opening to Kimagure Orange Road. So perhaps I did just fine on the particle section or at least got that one not wrong.

Spelled cake wrong. It only has one long vowel.

Other than that who knows how it went? I think I did alright. Kinda happy that I was able to write a lot more kanji on the test this time.

There has really never been a time where I drew a blank on a Japanese test. Well, except for that one time where I had no idea how to write the kyuu in kenkyuu. I totally blanked on that thing.

As always I understand the main points but it’s always the small stuff that I get caught up on which ends up killing me. Only 2 more chapters. Gotta start concentrating harder!

Why is my time being wasted writing an essay?

I honestly haven’t written an essay on something so uninteresting and boring in such a long time. Wow, I really don’t like American history and to have to write a 5 page essay which I kind of just finished was shitty to do. I sent it into my professor to review it which I will probably get something along the lines of, “You’re on the right track…” It would start just to save my pathetic ego, and then it would suggest points how to improve it.

I really don’t understand why professors make students write essays on something they themselves have already read. It really doesn’t make me a whole lot more motivated to write a paper on it answering certain obvious questions the professor already knows the answer to. I could understand a response paper or even maybe a *gasp* research paper, but essays like this are just kinda boring.

With this paper I really don’t see how anyone could write ANYTHING in their own words without having to cite the damned book every other sentence. My whole paper was pretty much one giant citation because 1. I didn’t want to plagiarize and 2. It just seemed kinda pointless putting it in my own words.

I just have a feeling he is going to tell me to condense and omit the part where I basically summarized the points of his life that gave him significance which wasn’t really what he was looking for, but I just wanted to get something done to send into him to get that edge of hearing what he has to say. I really have no idea where he wants us to go with the thing.

Oh well, I guess I’ll see where this goes. Time to finish my Japanese homework now since I most certainly won’t have time to do it any time later. After that it’s the speech project. What a shitty week and weekend this has been. I hope better things are coming up.

Honestly can’t stop listening to it (with lyrics!)

For a while now since I’ve been back at school. I’ve been listening to one song and just one song, and that is Orange Mystery from Kimagure Orange Road. It’s more or less an 80s love rock song, but I’ve had it on repeat since forever and it’s gradually gotten to second on my Ipod list.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGDTphhMgp8

No one is probably able to read it and understand this, but I can so I guess that is what matters.

Orange Mystery
Description: 2nd Opening Song Kimagure Orange Road

Sung by: Ikeda Masanori
Lyrics: Urino Masao
Composition: NOBODY
Arrangement: Niikawa Hiroshi

きらめく海へTシャツのまま
キミは跳んだね。 キスをよけるように、

ぬれたスカートの白い花びら
青いみなもに広がってくよ。

片目閉じて、僕のものに
なってあげるといったのに…

Oh baby tell me tell me, 気まぐれだね。
(Tell me love, tell me that you need me)
Tell me tell me, 夏の天使、
(Tell me lover, tell me that you love me)
Oh baby tell me tell me, 恋をしてる。
(Tell me love, tell me that you need me)
Tell me tell me, キミはミステリー。
(Tell me lover, tell me that you love me)

夏が終われば、さようならよって
いたずらっぽく僕を見つめたね。

なぎさに倒したバイクに映る。
空に落ちてくキミの涙、

分からないね。キミって子は、
優しさだけじゃしばれない。

Oh baby tell me tell me, 気まぐれだね。
(Tell me love, tell me that you need me)
Tell me tell me, キミが好きさ。
(Tell me lover, tell me that you love me)
Oh baby tell me tell me, 近づくほど。
(Tell me love, tell me that you need me)
Tell me tell me, キミはミステリー。
(Tell me lover, tell me that you love me)

Oh baby tell me tell me, 気まぐれだね。
(Tell me love, tell me that you need me)
Tell me tell me, 夏の天使、
(Tell me lover, tell me that you love me)
Oh baby tell me tell me, 恋をしてる。
(Tell me love, tell me that you need me)
Tell me tell me, キミはミステリー。
(Tell me lover, tell me that you love me)

ちょっと不安な心

I hope everyone is having a good vacation. I kind of am, I think, but suddenly I’m feeling a little anxious and unsettled. I kind of want to get back to work and start doing the same old thing again. Being here at home just doesn’t feel right anymore due to being away from it.

It’s starting to feel more like spring and with every spring it kind of gives me that urge to just go out and get my hair cut. I guess a spur of the moment cleaning up. No idea why I do it though. Who the hell am I trying to impress?

I’m saddened that I really didn’t sit down and do the studying that I wanted to do but there is a few days left and maybe I will muster up some will power and review this stuff because most of this stuff I have due is due pretty much the following week I return.

I kind of spent most of my time playing WoW and just playing date sims most of the time. Also watching Kimagure Orange Road, and some how it is Friday already. I’m a little angry that I can’t seem to sleep very well now either. I am just so unsettled as I’ve previously said.

I went to see my mentor and friend from high school, Mr. Penny, recently. It was nice visiting him and his lovely family. I agree with him that I do seem a lot more solid than I did maybe 2 years ago. Like, I know where I’m going but just what to do with this and where do go from there is up in the air. I told him about how I’ve been feeling lately among other things. I am very grateful to be able to have someone like him to talk to that just says it like how it is.

I suppose this is all. I think I have more on my mind but it hasn’t really come to light yet. It seems like so much is going on. Although, I am sure others are having worse troubles than I am. My troubles are probably little things in the large scope of things. But, I am Bryan after all. Making a big deal out of little things.

In any case, I wonder when this feeling will go away?