Ever since leaving Korea I’ve had a growing phobia of being fired. I try my best in the workplace but I fear that might not be enough. I think this also stems from lack of confidence in myself because I’m not a teacher in any real sense at all, but I am looked at as one and expected to know and perform many different tasks. This has caused me to stay up many nights studying Japanese whether it’s reading novels, watching TV or just studying the books. The faster and more effort I put towards this would logically mean the more I can start looking for jobs that I would feel more confident in.

Teaching English is easy, but I seem to take it all very seriously because it is something that should be taken seriously. But maybe my worries aren’t something I should worry too much about on the whole because I know I won’t be fired without warning. And I know if there are any issues, I’m going to be told about it personally and how to improve on it. It’s not something I want to hear, but it’s better than not being given and chance and just being fired flat out.

I need to relax more. I’m too young for this.

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